Well, the news is final, and the verdict is finally in. Aunt Becky is going to the slammer. I want to write those words again because my therapist told me it will help it sink in and start the process of coping with this. Aunt Becky is going to the slammer. The big house. The hole. Jail. It's happening. She and her husband famous designer Mossimo Giannulli accepted a plea deal and she will be in jail for two months, he for five, if the judge accepts it.
Look two months isn't that bad, I recognize that. They will be fine, and let's be honest, they are probably going to some fancy white collar country club prison. So really, they will be just extending their lockdown for two more months (haha, insert quarantine joke and obligatory reaction to said quarantine joke here). But still the reality of it hits hard for any kid that grew up in the 90's. Aunt Becky, the one who was there for DJ, Steph, and Michelle when they needed a mother figure, the one who warned us about the dangers of unhealthy dieting, the one who always had a pristine moral compass, is going to be a JAILBIRD. That's tough to swallow.
I mean, there was literally a Full House episode about this very thing! Everyone remembers the episode when Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky could have lied an on application to get Nicky and Alex into that fancy preschool but she was the one who stopped it! She said no! She said we can't lie just to get the kids in this school! The irony of it all! I can't find footage of the episode but i'm sure everyone remembers it. Well at least I do, I mean that was the first thing that came to mind for me when this happened.
Anyway, the whole thing is hard to swallow. But it's reality. I wondered why it's so hard for every 90's kid to deal with this. Well it's not just about an actress but a TV character. It's about how we feel about our own childhood. We don't want the innocence of the 90's taken away from us, when we would all stay up late on a Friday night watching TGIF drinking a surge and eating those handi-snacks with that nasty delicious fake cheese and some dunkaroos for dessert. It's hard to deal with the reality that everything in our 90's childhood wasn't a total utopia. But I guess that's a hard lesson I have to learn along with the rest of my generation the hard way. Sometimes reality is good for us and it's important to process it when it happens.
It happened this morning. It hits hard. So will that jail door.