Can we please just send Peter home? Granted, I’m in no position to throw stones, but he is the poster boy for guys who think with their junk. He is dumber than a bag full of cats. If he can’t understand Madi is saying if you sleep with the other girls she’s gone, he needs to surrender his pilot’s license immediately and remain grounded for life.
Madi is and always will be my #1. I can definitely see myself screwing up that marriage royally.
Hannah Ann is your best friend’s little sister who you haven’t seen for years and then you come home from college one summer and all of a sudden she’s really hot and she hits on you and you end up conflicted because you really shouldn’t hook up with your buddy’s little sister, but damn she’s so hot.
Victoria F is a side bet in a beer pong game and she’s ok with that.
Don’t try to speak with an Australian accent Peter. Just don’t. Seriously. Stop it right now. I’m not kidding.
Satan, the Prince of Darkness and overlord of the Netherworld, wouldn’t even make Madi stay in the same suite with two women who are competing to see who is going to break Peter’s 4x in a windmill record.
Madi: I don’t know if I can continue
Peter: I don’t know what you’re saying
Victoria: I don’t know what you want
Hannah Ann: I don’t know how to pronounce important
Me: I don’t know why I’m watching this
Hannah Ann and Victoria were more excited about their hotel room in Cleveland than they were about the penthouse fantasy suites.
I think Victoria F could talk Hannah Ann into a three-way. I also think she may have been strongly considering it.
Hannah Ann goes jet skiing. Victoria F gets a helicopter ride to a remote waterfall. Madi climbs to the top of a building in a safety harness. That's all you need to know.
That definitely wasn’t Victoria F’s first walk of shame. She even pulled off the crafty move of leaving her clothes behind thus ensuring the return visit.
Madi could use some ProActiv. That or the cameraman needs to pull back a bit and shoot through cheesecloth.
Peter: "I don’t want you to think it’s all about the sex right now" *but it’s all about the sex*
If there really is a Senior Bachelor, the one-on-one dates will be held at a Golden Corral at 4PM, the rose ceremony will be over by 7:30, the fantasy suites will have a walk-in tub and they will fund the production with a reverse mortgage on the mansion.
What's next #BachelorTeens? #BachelorBabies? #BachelorFrom BeyondTheGrave?
My Power Rankings
Madison - She is and always will be my #1. Period. End of discussion.
Barbara - Listen to your mother Peter. Mom's are always right.
Bindi - She’s cute. She’s cuddly. I wouldn’t take her to fantasy suites, but still comes in ahead of the other two.
Hannah Ann - You’re only here by default punkin.
Stumpy McStumperson - Probably not better in bed, but definitely a better conversationalist than Victoria P.
PHOTO ABC / The Bachelor