Bachelor Power Rankings Week 8: Peter Weber - The King Of Planet Dumb

Wow. Just wow. 

Peter: Victoria will you take this rose?

Me: 

My Observations

How does Peter even remember to breathe? He is literally that stupid. 

Who sits inside next to a roaring fire wearing a fleece vest? 

Hannah Ann would be a terrible name for a wife if you’re a drinker. 

When someone says winemaking who doesn’t think of Des Moines, Iowa?

If I were a woman and saw how excited Peter got about seeing his first crab rangoon, there‘s no way I’d ever let him see my breastesses. 

I can’t believe a Top 10 college basketball program has such a sh*tty jumbotron.

Madi is a serious baller. 

Bruce Pearl would make a better Bachelor than Peter. 

What 29 year old puts their first name on the back of a basketball jersey? 

You can tell the order of the hometowns based on the healing of Peter’s head scar.

Victoria F is the only crop on the psycho farm.

Merissa: “Be careful of Victoria Peter” 

Peter: 

Eileen Wournos would even think Victoria F is nuts. 

Peter: “Mmmmm...let me think...who should I take to the final three? The cute blonde who cries a lot and doesn’t know how to drink champagne or the home wrecking pariah who I’ve been warned about, doesn’t listen to me, lies constantly, tells me how I can and cannot behave, turns everything around to put it on me and then storms off before I get to meet her family. Well that's easy..."

My Week 8 Power Rankings 

Madison - Don’t worry about the “saving yourself for marriage” thing. This is yours to lose. 

Hannah Ann - She’s annoying and immature, but she didn’t kill Peter with the axe when she had it in her hands. I don’t think the same can be said for Victoria F. 

Merissa - Not a contestant, but did you see how Peter’s eyes lit up when he saw her? 

Crab Rangoon - Not a contestant, but did you see how Peter’s eyes lit up when he saw them? 

Kelsey - I don’t care if he sent her home, she's still better than the alternative. 

Photos: ABC, Getty Images, Giphy