Normally, I only share my top 10 observations from this week’s show before getting to my Power Rankings, however 10 observations would not do the dumpster fire we witnessed Monday night justice. Here we go kiddies. Lace em up:
Chris H: “Your journey will continue in a city full of art, culture, and rock and roll”
Everyone on the planet: "LONDON!
Chris H: “Cleveland, Ohio
Everyone on the planet:
Just so’s ya know Pete, Superman was born on the planet Krypton. He lived in Metropolis, which is in downstate Illinois. I do not believe Clark Kent ever lived in Cleveland, worked in Cleveland or for that matter, visited Cleveland, which is unfortunate because I hear the downtown area is “stunning.
When did Deandre get hot?
Peter wants 2 or 4 kids because “he loves amusement parks and if you have 1 or 3 kids, someone sits alone.” Here’s a thought Petey, why don’t you be a good dad and ride with one of them?
I've got news for you Vicky. Chase Rice wasn’t upset seeing you with Peter. He was laughing his ass off on the inside. Conversely, we were laughing our asses off on the outside. Peter was laughing too so you can stop crying.
Lexi looks like that girl in college who owned her own bong. Another quality I find endearing.
C’mon Progressive you’ve got to step up your product placement game. Baker Mayfield should have been mowing the grass while the Bachelor Bowl was going on.
Shiann should get an invite to Browns Training Camp.
The Bachelor Bowl ends in a tie? Who would have thought? Ummm...everyone.
Anyone who says “like” and it’s not in the context of a simile should immediately be escorted to the limo.
Alayah needs to go. If only for the reason she violated the “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas” rule.
Asking Alayah if she wants to stay is like asking a guy if he wants a hummer. Duh.
Alayha: Our relationship is stronger than ever because of the lies he’s hearing (and because your lies are better).
What possible crime in Iowa did Kelsey’s dad commit that caused him to just up and flee to Mexico? Insider trading on pork belly futures perhaps?
It’s Game Time Bitches!
My Top 5
- Madison - Still holds the top spot. Flying under the radar at the speed of sound. The title is hers to lose which has gotta happen in the next couple weeks.
- Cleveland - Stunning. Amazing. So much to offer, without any of the drama.
- Lexi - One of my favorites. The half unzipped hoodie sans shirt with bloodshot eyes is a total baller look.
- Tammy - No bullsh*t gal. Great open field tackler. Anyone who crosses her best sleep with one eye open.
- Kelsey - One-on-one date almost makes us forget the week one champagne finasco. Also gets the first “jump and hug” of the season.
Dropping out
- Victoria P - You were one of my favorites. Right up until the point where you dumped out your crazy purse on the garden bench during your “I don’t want to talk. Let’s go talk” conversation with Peter.
- Savannah - I still like you, but you could not overcome the strong move by Cleveland. I expect you to be back soon.
Monday can't come soon enough.
PHOTOS: ABC and Cleveland Tourism