Over the last several years the state of Louisiana has removed several confederate statues, but sadly more than 30 are still on display. However that may change soon as a petition circling on change.org is calling for the remaining statues to be replaced with those of a true Louisiana treasure, Ms. Britney Spears. Some people laugh at the notion, but I for one am all in on the switch. Anything is better than honoring a confederate general and if it's got to be someone it might as well be Britney. So I decided to rank these six classic Britney looks based on their statue-worthiness.
Tell me when she hit the stage at the VMA's in this flesh colored costume you didn't do a double take. In fact, tens of thousands of teenage boys didn't even stick around to see the end of her performance because right after her first drop and grind other pressing issues popped up that needed to be addressed immediately.
There's nothing more Louisiana than walking into a gas station bathroom barefoot except maybe sucking crawfish heads. Maybe.
The Las Vegas Britney is perhaps the least known of all the Britney's as we really didn't hear much about her residency at the Planet Hollywood Casino. Although the Vegas Britney is older, she has a certain BILF quality that cannot be denied or ignored.
I bet most of you thought the schoolgirl look from the "Hit Me Baby One More Time" video was a lock for the #1 spot. While your logic is not flawed, in terms of statue-worthiness I can't in right conscience move it past the #3 hole.
There are very few women in the world who can pull off bald. Sinead O' Connor made it work. So did Demi Moore in G.I. Jane. But for my money, Britney is the GOAT of bald chicks. Add the anger of trying to ram an umbrella through the door of an SUV and you've got yourself one hell of a statue.
Britney and a 20 foot albino python. The stuff of which nightmares and fantasies are made. It needs no other explanation or justification. Just close your eyes and imagine a 15 foot tall Britney with the python extending off either shoulder in all its bronze glory. Erect this statue and I guarantee you'll have teenage boys and middle-aged men traveling from the farthest corners of the earth to worship her majestic splendor.
Sure, there are countless other Britney's I have overlooked. I could have chosen the "Kevin Federline" Britney, or the "Sweet Home Alabama" Britney, or even the "Take a picture of me getting out of this limo without underwear on" Britney, but let's not get too crazy. We do have to keep some sense of decorum. After all this is history we're talking about and we want these statues to be around for our children, our children's children, and their children's children to see in all their magnificent glory.
Photos: Getty Images/TMZ/Kevin Mazur/WireImage/Denise Truscello/BSLV Getty Images Entertainment/MTV